I know you go to work each day and probably see women along the way, dressed so nicely, hair and makeup done to a T. With their high heels and dress clothes looking smoking hot. Then you come home each night to me, your simple and frumpy haired wife rocking her pony-tail, cut off t-shirt, and my yoga pants.
Well to be honest these feet haven’t seen high heels since my 20’s. There are so many reasons my hair isn’t curled and I’m sporting a 5 minute make-up job. So many reasons my hair is messy and I have stained jeans. Being comfortable is just my thing. I am a mom and most days it looks like I just rolled out of bed, and trust me I probably did. Most days I look like I have the flu, and feel like it to. But this letter is to explain the reasons you should love my pony tail and be grateful for all it represents.
My Pony Tail means so many things… for one it means everyone else comes before me. Honestly, I start each day (after I shower…I always find time to shower) thinking I should wash, blow dry, and straighten my hair (maybe get wild and crazy and even curl it). But most days I need that extra hour, so my hair has to take a back seat (to the long to-do list I needed to accomplish). Priorities never seem to include anything that remotely has to do with my personal appearance.
You probably think since we had kids, somewhere along the line lost who I was. Ah ha quite the contrary my friend. I am a mom and who I am to our children and family is exactly what I always wanted to be. And to quote “Frozen” I may have let myself go (because my hair hasn’t been catered to in days) but I have not lost who I am. I know exactly who I am, and that entails so many titles such as: Personal chauffeur, maid, cook, volunteer, soccer mom, tutor, nurse, cheerleader, tailor, cleaning lady, wife, mother, sister, friend, and most of all I am a SURVIVOR.
I wake up each day with the drive to attack whatever the it may bring. I don’t know how to say no…and pile more and more items on my to do list. I work harder than anyone I know, and never settle for less than my best. So even though you may not know what I do all day, I can tell you it’s exhausting…and its hard… but I love every minute of it. (Except homework time…that I hate and will allow you to take over at any given time).
I have never given up who I was or who I wanted to be. I will never regret the roads I took in life that brought me to you. I have survived toddlers, tears, sleepless nights, housework, homework, school functions, illnesses, and the grocery store with our children (This is a task). I have spent countless hours talking, reading, crafting, and cooking with our littles. I have survived the pressure of being a working mom and a stay-at-home mom. I have never given up, although I have said I would a million times. I have cried many tears wondering if I was a good mother and a good wife. Wondering if all the choices I made (including the pony tail and yoga pants) were the right ones.
I wear the pony tail because I cannot afford 20 people to do the jobs I accomplish in one day. I work hard, I sweat, I cry, and I bleed to make sure everything is done every single day (seriously I usually injure myself at least 3 times a day rushing around). Who can have curled hair and pretty nails when your trying to clean the toilets and fold the laundry (not me I have stuff to do).
Every day I find the strength to survive our children. No one gave me a “Mommy How-To-Guide” so I am seriously winging it. I make mistakes and I learn from them. Where you may see a sloppy pony tail, my kids see a mom who was always shows up (helping in their class or working on projects until 12 am). They see the best mom I can be, giving all she is to make sure they have all they need. I find strength every single day that I never knew I had (especially during homework & bath time).
You hate how I worry every minute of every single day. That started the instant I became a mom and has never lessened its grip on me. My pony tail shows you I am more worried about getting a million goody bags ready for the kids class tomorrow (because it’s whatever God-given holiday) then I am about my hair. It also shows you I was up all night worrying because our child had a fever (So trust me when I say that my hair is the least of my worries). I worry about the future and the world our children will be growing up in. I worry if they are safe if they are hungry or cold,or if someone is going to hurt the precious magical people they are. It’s my job to worry I am their mother (And nothing protects a cub like it’s momma).
One thing about my pony tail is when it’s up it means get ready world here I come. It means I am about to attack whatever needs to be done. My hair is out of my face for a reason, I need to see my to-do-list clearly. Now you may think my hands are too full all the time. You always ask why do I volunteer for EVERYTHING? Why do I donate everything, when other parents don’t? Because I can…and because as long as I can…I WILL!!!! My pony tail means I am a busy girl with plenty of important things to get done, so you best just clear a path and get out of my way (Girl on a mission).
My pony tail and yoga pants say LOUD & CLEAR…I am a mom (And I love being a mom). I may not be the best mom, but I lay my head on my pillow each night knowing I did my best, to be the mom my kids deserve.
So when you come home from a long day at work and see me once again sporting that pony tail and comfy pants….just wrap your arms around me. Know that my day was exhausting and I survived. You have all the reasons I don’t look like a super model (the most important fact we can’t afford a nanny or a makeup artist). At the end of the day family is what makes you find the strength to make everything seem worth it.