Everyone always says you’re so lucky, you’re a survivor. Truth is it is exhausting. I am tired of the fight, tired of the bumps in the road. I am tired of bobbing and weaving what life has thrown at me. I am strong my life has proved that ten times over. How many times must you get knocked to you knees before life gives you a break? How many times must you prove that you will face life head on and surpass the crappy hands you are dealt?
I was once someone who was healthy and that changed in the blink of an eye. I had to relinquish control and put my life in someone else’s hands. My life as I knew it would never be the same.
Once you are faced with understanding your situation, and accepting no matter what you do you can’t change it, you begin to accept it. All you can do is deal with it the best way you can and face the challenge that lays ahead. I sued to hate change, especially when it came to anything that was life altering. However now I embrace change and figure out how to make it not only work for me but better myself through the process.
I have learned resisting change is a loosing battle and all that energy is better placed going with life’s flow and creating a new normal for myself when I need to. So I am here to tell you it’s ok to be scared, heck your only human. Your allowed to feel sorry for yourself, be negative, and depressed. But at some point you need to buck up and get over it and move forward. You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep reading the last one.
Trust me laying in bed all day eating a pint of ice cream can be very alluring for sure. However it does you no good, and sure as heck doesn’t change you situation (other than a few pounds of weight gain). So my advice is be grateful and snap yourself out of your funk. There is always something good even if it’s the smallest thing you can think of. Need a few reasons…you’re alive, you have family who loves you, you have a purpose in life (just because you haven’t found it yet does;t mean it isn’t there).
So focus on the good things in your life and be grateful for some of the bad things, because those are what put all the good things in perspective. You gain knowledge from every experience in life, it’s all something to learn from. It changes you and from that change you grow.
So regardless of whatever is knocking you down search for the good that the experience is bringing you. Be strong, be patient and once you weather the storm the sun will shine again and something good will come from it. It is hard in the moment to see it but once you realize (you’ve got this) it can be very empowering. Take the bad experience and make something good come of it, find a way to make it positive.
For example, my breast cancer journey has taken me on the road to meet some amazing people. I have a whole sisterhood I never knew existed. It’s a bond that is stronger than anything I could have ever imagined. I also have to think me educating others on preventative measures and advice I can give someone else battling the disease ,makes me feel my journey has meant something.
I have changed kind of evolved if you want to put it into words. I learned how to adapt to my situations and as difficult and painful as some of them have been I have grown so much having experienced them.
I always knew my health was important but never truly understood what it meant to face the idea of death. Once you are confronted head on with any disease especially cancer it makes you prioritize everything. Things you may have once thought were important weren’t anymore. Some of the little things I took for granted are put above all else. You need to take care of you and by that I mean all of you (physical, mental, and especially spiritual). At one point I needed faith and I had to seek it out. You have to believe there is some higher power and your journey is out of your control.
It’s sad it took me facing a life-threatening disease to understand my place in the world. So all I can say is figure out what means the most to you and embrace it and start living.
I am still finding my place and my purpose I know I was meant to do something big in this world just not sure what yet but it gets clearer everyday. But I have learned that every challenge is a gift and I try to see everything with un bias glasses. Even though my scars are healed it takes time to heal the emotional scars life has given us. Crafting and writing are things that make me feel alive and I enjoy every minute of it.
Sometimes you just need to focus on what you want and need and stop worrying about what everyone else wants from you. Be true to who you are and don’t change what makes you “You” along the way. If you love the life you lead you will have everything you could ever need.